- AKA The Unoriginal
Starring: Odette Yustman/Gary Oldman/Cam Gigandet
Rating: PG-13
Release Date: January 9, 2009
OMG, where to being with this one. I did have high hopes when I went to see this for two reasons. A.) Gary Oldman! (aka freakin awesome) & B.) The screenwriter supposedly had a hand in writing the Dark Knight. So I was excited to see it being the horror movie fanatic that I am. I got my snackage/drink and settled in for the show.
About 5 mins in I was already laughing. Just a note: under no circumstances is a dog with a doll-face mask anything but just plain funny. There is nothing frightening about that. What followed in the movie was a never-ending rerun of previous horror movies.
From copying movies like Ju-On (the Grudge) in one scene with the throat death-rattle to totally capitalizing on the whole creepy-kid thing (The Ring/Ringu) it was just frustrating. The acting was horrible, especially by that Twlight guy who should just stick to hissing his vampire teeth. And CGI scary faces are no longer a new idea.
I did happen to appreciate the one original item in the movie, which was the fact that instead of using the whole “Christianity saves the day” theme like in most horror movies involving demon-like creatures this one was Jewish. I thought that was cool and slightly original for a scary movie. But other than that (and Gary Oldman’s awesomeness) this was a total waste of film.
SPOLIER ALERT:And who the hell didn’t predict that she was pregnant? I mean, really? That was so freaking obvious that the whole montage at the end was a waste of the 10 minutes I could have been walking to my car. Geez people, how dumb did the writer think the audience would be?
Well, there goes another horror movie down the disappointment drain. I guess I will just have to wait for the next decent looking one to come out (which happens to be this one thanks to the Discovery Channel).
Bottom Line: TOTAL SUCKFEST
